Log in

24 January 2013 @ 10:19 am

I have less than eight minutes to write an outstanding journal.

I should be doing History-Academic-Related things at the moment.

Oh, well.

So, I'm still alive.

I'm being eaten alive by nasty-ass midterms.

Math is my sworn enemy, and Science isn't looking so friendly either.

Funny, I'm not good at anything.

So, with that said, I have no future at the moment.

Not my job.

Current Music: Owl City
20 April 2012 @ 10:25 am

  So I've been away from the computer and media for some time now. I really don't have much to say. I'm pretty relieved that the weather is tolerable. No more snow or below-freezing temperatures. I'll ask myself the same question every melting Spring, Why do I live in North-Eastern USA? Ah, well.

  I'm still in school right now. Third period of the day. Truly the best class: Yearbook Production. All you really do is surf the internet and watch YouTube videos to your heart's content. I'll right this short journal entry for now. Maybe add on to it later when I don't have one pressuring minute left until the bell rings.

Current Mood: relaxedrelaxed
Current Music: Hide and Seek. Imogen Heap (Dubstep-Remix)
04 April 2012 @ 10:25 am

 The new kid. A stranger. Fresh meat. A title I have always known. I'll be honest, it gets old after six years worth of holding the title. Sure, I've gone to a lot of schools. What can I say? My mother is a traveling nurse and I like adventure. Being the new kid isn't bad, but everyone and their mother will ask the same question, "So why did you move?"

  Why did I move to Cooperstown? I came from Los Angelos. I could seriously tell my life story, and 99.9% of the people will ask the same, annoying questions over and over again. "Did you see any famous people?" Granted, I understand that LA is famous for Hollywood and all, but come on. After a while, it gets pretty funny. People take that question so seriously. After the fiftieth time, my response was, "Oh, loads of times. Yeah, you've heard of George Lopez right? Turns out he was my neighbor. He and my step-dad love talking about football."

  I don't know George Lopez. I don't know where he lives, and I, like everyone else at this point, still wonder if he even watches football.  I saw three famous people, and to be honest, it was amazing. I saw Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint all in the same day. It was a breezy morning at the Chinese Theater.. I might have almost died that day. Thousands of screaming girls, pouring their throbbing hearts and souls into their cheers. It was survival of the fittest. If I had any common sense, I'd go karate-kid and smack down a few crazies, but unfortunately, I left my bad-ass at home. 

Current Mood: mischievousmischievous
30 March 2012 @ 10:26 am

  So I've recently discovered a nasty truth about school, and possibly life in general. It all started yesterday as I sat in my Guidance Counselor's office discussing the possibility of doubling up on core classes to graduate early. As I'd like to graduate early, and get out of this school a year early, there is the finer possibility that I will be attending a private school in my Junior and Senior year. This, I want more than anything.

  I've had problems with too much work in general, to the point where I want to scream and fall in a hole. But I realize, it's because of the mental state I was in. My priorities weren't straight. I like to play. Playing Minecraft, or just doing something rather than work. But the matter of the fact is, I could have fun while working. All playing asides, there's nothing more I like better than the sick satisfaction of scoring really high on a paper while others around me have lesser grades. It just goes to show what can happen with the proper motivation. What would mine be? Being the asshole overachiever? I don't mind that all. I'll be successful. I don't come from old money. I will never inherit some secret fortune. I'm starting from the bottom up

  Something that bugs me. When people question why I want to double-up on classes? Because. It looks good on paper, and I don't want to waste time boring my brain on silly little electives while I could be getting something out of the way. Or even worse, taking study halls. I don't have any this year. To be successful, you work hard. Sitting in a classroom working on things you could easily do at home is not how I want to spend my time.

  So, what do I do now? I talk to my parents, mainly my mother. She knows my abilities and breaking points better than anyone. She's skeptical about this. Especially since I said that I wanted to drop lunch in place for a study hall, or more preferably, a Social Studies elective. Unfortunately she doesn't seem to understand my goals. Figures. She hardly understands anything with me. I can't neccessarily blame her; I've been changing rapidly in the past few months. I almost feel bad for her.
  All I have to do now is wait for the main schedule to be created so that my Counselor and I can figure out what I should do. For what I want, I want to go to college at Georgetown University. It's very close to where I want to work. I want a job in one of the numerous branches of the Central Intelligence Agency. First as an internship, since that will give me more of a hands-on experience dealing with a new situation. I don't know what comes next, but I feel more secure that I have a path to follow.

  This is another pet-peeve. People at my school don't mind having no goals. Most the people in my grade are irritatingly passive about what they want to do. They have no sense of direction, no goals. They sell themselves short and accept lower grades even though they have the potential to be better. What am I dealing with? I'm thinking about my mother's mistakes, my sister's mistakes. I don't want to run into financial problems where I can't get a morgage on a house because my credit score is shit from all the checks I couldn't pay. 


  As of right now, it's 9:46 (AM) and I'm in fourth period. Global History. Probably one of the most boring classes I have. I don't mind history, but I'd rather focus on more political history. Understanding why governments are corrupt and why political leaders fail.

  Another thing I have a problem with this school, is everyone seems more involved in relationships than studies. How the fuck can you concentrate on how he/she  feels about you, when the chances of seeing this person when you graduate is  very slim, and even then, you should never make the mistake of giving up your dreams just to be with someone. In the end, you're selling yourself short and, I don't mean to be a pessimist, your highschool sweetheart might turn out to be a completely different person and you're facing divorce. Now you declined the invitation to the college of your dreams so you can stay and be with your little love, but now that little love of yours cheated on you and wants a divorce. Where do you stand now? Community college. Ew. What if your pregnant? Now you have a child to think about. My advice: abortion or adoption. It's not fair to the kid that you aren't settled down or have a decent salary to support them.

  I will gladly live my life alone, for being selfish isn't a crime.



Current Location: School
Current Mood: determined
Current Music: A hand covers the Bruise
29 March 2012 @ 10:19 am

 I'm actually going to try to double-up on my classes next year. Which is smart, because I want to get this over with. I'm wasting time with silly electives and study halls. Actually, it's funny.. I don't even have a study hall. 

My Schedule is:

Per.1 Regents Biology

Per.2 Math (Algebra 1)

Per.3 Yearbook Production

Per.4 Global History

Per.5 Lunch

Per. 6 Gym-Double Biology (Usually Lab)

Per. 7 English

Per. 8 Studio Art

Per. 9 French (Lvl. II)

  I'm applying for AP European History, but I need a 92 average.. I have like an 87. I need five more points...

I got to work my tail off..

Current Location: School, Per. 3
Current Mood: nervousnervous
Current Music: Knock You down- Keri Hilson
27 March 2012 @ 06:52 pm

 Oh, yeah, so my day at school was the same as yesterday, long and ordinary. Did I also mention that yesterday's day was the same as the last? Yeah, fun fun fun.. So communities! I don't know what one to join.. Maybe I need to search long and hard about this. I kind of want one where people like the same things as me, but not accordingly to just ONE aspect of my interests. I may looove Owl City, but I want to talk about Greek Mythology.. Or something. 

26 March 2012 @ 07:00 pm
 Probably the world of Percy Jackson and the Lightning thief! Whew! I mean, wouldn't it be amazing to find that Zeus and all the other gods/goddesses existed?! I think so. I get shivers when I think about it.. Something I can only dream and wish..
If you could enter any fictional realm, which would it be?
Current Mood: coldcold
26 March 2012 @ 10:27 am

  Well, it's been a very long time since I've logged on here. My old username was 'Dearest_Emily'. That account was made for me a long time ago by my sister. For some reason, I stopped using LiveJournal all together. I don't have an actual explanation as to why, but something has driven me back to it. Here I am.

  So what's new  with me? A lot, I would say. I got in my first relationship this year. (If you even want to call it that.) What happened? Well, there was this nice kid I thought I liked. I 'dated' him for about two months before I decided it was a bad idea. (To be honest, I thought it was a mistake before I even went out with him. We went on one date, and that was it. I didn't like him that much. I didn't know him very well when we first started. As soon as I was with him, I was suddenly repulsed and constantly disgusted with it. Too the extreme that I broke up with him on Valentine's day. Sure, bad planning. A bit harsh. But I couldn't really care less.  Life it too short to give so much energy to one person who truly isn't worth the trouble..

  I'm feeling really creative lately. But I've been going in and out of melancholy. Like sad, but for no reason, really. I guess everyone could dig deep down and find a reason to feel sad. I've surrounded myself with sad stories recently. The Lovely Bones. The Notebook. All both really tragic stories. Great books/movies. I've only watched the Notebook, and the ending was utterly heartbreaking. I spent 20 minutes sobbing after the movie ended. I didn't cry as much during the reading of the Lovely Bones. But I think it had the biggest impact on me. And to think, I'm about the same age as the girl Susie Salmon. She is definitely my favorite female character in literature.

  I've been missing something lately. A forgotten memory? Or a dream? I really hope to find what I'm looking for some day. My attention is drawn to Ft. Myer's beach. I have dreams of being there again. With someone I miss. I plan to go back, and fill the gaping hole in my existence.

Current Location: School.
Current Mood: melancholymelancholy
Current Music: Treasured Memories